Re-Tribing

 Re-Tribing

One of the tenets of the Way of Play is Re-tribing. Finding your tribe. Finding like-minded folk to hang out with.

That’s how I ended up here. When I was in my twenties I had a tribe. We were circus hippie sort of people who shared many beliefs. We played and made shows together and smoked too much weed. Then time passed. As it is wont to do. I had children, others became social workers, academics, arts administrators, drug addicts. The circus became a serious business venture. We had de-tribed.

Tribes are often time-related. The people you are at school or university with. The people we work with. The other parents at the school gates. The people sitting next to you in the old peoples’ home. People undergoing the same experiences whom we might talk to about shared experiences or learning, bosses, pooey nappies and larger pooey nappies. 

At the same time, although these shared experiences are important, it is not unusual to feel lonely. Shared experiences are often not enough. 

I’ve just looked up ‘What is a tribe?’. I mention this in case you think I just make up all this stuff. Serious research has gone into this. Tribe used to be, and in places still is, a community that shares ancestry, cultural and spiritual beliefs and often land. A shared physical space. This no longer applies to many of us. We may be lost and tribe-less. Adrift in a swirling sea of social media judgement, thrown on the rocks of urban landscapes and struggling to keep our heads above what seems to be a terrible world.

So what is this re-tribing all about? For me it is about finding community. Like minded and kind people, mutual support and deep belonging. People who will accept me as I am, the messy real fear-fulled me who would really prefer to wave with a smile not drown in tears. 

I found my new tribe in the Way of Play by accident and maybe fate. For the last few years I have deliberately isolated myself. Aside from my lovely daughters and grandson. I moved to the middle of nowhere. Licked my wounds, gardened my way out of trauma and self-administered a great deal of art therapy and hot chocolate. I felt better. More myself. But then I felt lonely. 

So I went out into the world in an attempt to make new friends and find love. This was harder than I’d anticipated. I managed to garner a reputation in the dating-before-you-die world as eccentric, weird and rather dotty. My choir acquaintances were not on the same wavelength, even if we did sing in almost perfect harmony. My art group wanted art to look like something real. My fellow yogis were earnest and serious. 

I discovered I had most in common with my five-year-old grandson. We laughed and played. Had meaningful discussions about life and the nature of the universe. Had ridiculous conversations about nonsense. We sang silly songs without inhibition. We hugged. 

Eventually I found myself at the Soul Revolution Festival. At a Way of Play workshop. As myself.  I was not judged as eccentric, silly, dotty or old. I had the sort of fun I’d only previously experienced with my grandson. This time with adults! There was a connection, a warmth and an acceptance. 

The Way of Play is not just about having a laugh. Although laughing is an important part. It’s about connection, play, care and tribe. 

May you find your tribe.