Art as Play

 Art as Play

When we were little children we were usually allowed to use art as play. Daubing random colours on paper, our surroundings and on ourselves. As a proud parent I would treasure these artworks and display them then carefully store them away. A reminder of just how brilliant and creative my children were. 

Then came art as representation and we were all doomed to the voice of the inner critic, the outer critic and comparison. Much of the joy was lost from the process.

Let’s revive creativity as joy and process. Let’s play with colour and shape and marks without being marked by anyone. Stop caring about the outcome and play with process. Let’s express emotions. Just say ‘Ooo’ or ‘Ahhh’ when colours come together. ‘Wow’ and ‘Woo’ when a line goes down on paper. ‘Yay!’ and ‘Hooray!’ when we’ve made a big blobby squiggly mess.

So what if it goes straight into the recycling? We’ve captured something that could be more valuable than great art. We were there, in the moment, having fun, letting go.

May you always be creative, it doesn't matter what you make even if it's just a mess

What If?...And Then?...

 What If?...And Then?...

Two great questions to spark imaginative play. Most great stories start with the author asking ‘What if?’. ‘What if all the toys came to life?’ ‘What if my car could fly’ ‘What if I had a superpower?’

Children playing are constantly driven by the What If. It’s how playful curiosity leads to learning - ‘What if we made a track where all the cars crashed?’. This is how I spent much of the weekend. ‘What if I jump into this puddle?’ ‘What if I pour different coloured paints down my tummy?’ Yes. We’ve been there.

This is usually followed by And Then… In our case (my grandson and I) all the cars that fell off the track had to hide behind the football. All the ones that stayed on the track got to line up in groups of twos, threes, fours etc. There was a special celebration dance for prime numbers and a song that went ‘Prime is special! Prime is fine!’

The paint play involved shades of brown and deep purple, whole body smearing, the washing machine, the bath and finally a slightly disapproving and resigned parental sigh.

It doesn’t take any encouragement to get kids to play ‘What If?’ ‘And Then…’ All they need is to be allowed and a willing grandmother to clean up afterwards.

As we grow up ‘What If?’ ‘And Then…’ are not completely lost to us but not exactly encouraged by the educational system. Or parents who have neither the energy or time to clean up. Creative enquiry is channeled into learning by rote. Prime numbers no longer get a happy dance. Pouring paint gets pushed into colour theory and attempts at realism. Music play becomes pieces by someone who has already written all the dots on lines. Writing play becomes analysing what some dead bloke wrote. Physical play into organised and competitive sport.

Let’s reclaim ‘What if?’ ‘And Then…’ Let us bring the joy and the curiosity back! Let’s play!

Dance for your favourite numbers. Let the paint go crazy without rhyme or reason but just to see what happens. Sing! No matter how out of tune and just making up the tune. Write nonsense and see what it turns into. Move your body in any way that just feels great! 

May you always be creative. It doesn’t matter what you make. 

The Way of Play Re-Tribing

Re-Tribing

 Re-Tribing

One of the tenets of the Way of Play is Re-tribing. Finding your tribe. Finding like-minded folk to hang out with.

That’s how I ended up here. When I was in my twenties I had a tribe. We were circus hippie sort of people who shared many beliefs. We played and made shows together and smoked too much weed. Then time passed. As it is wont to do. I had children, others became social workers, academics, arts administrators, drug addicts. The circus became a serious business venture. We had de-tribed.

Tribes are often time-related. The people you are at school or university with. The people we work with. The other parents at the school gates. The people sitting next to you in the old peoples’ home. People undergoing the same experiences whom we might talk to about shared experiences or learning, bosses, pooey nappies and larger pooey nappies. 

At the same time, although these shared experiences are important, it is not unusual to feel lonely. Shared experiences are often not enough. 

I’ve just looked up ‘What is a tribe?’. I mention this in case you think I just make up all this stuff. Serious research has gone into this. Tribe used to be, and in places still is, a community that shares ancestry, cultural and spiritual beliefs and often land. A shared physical space. This no longer applies to many of us. We may be lost and tribe-less. Adrift in a swirling sea of social media judgement, thrown on the rocks of urban landscapes and struggling to keep our heads above what seems to be a terrible world.

So what is this re-tribing all about? For me it is about finding community. Like minded and kind people, mutual support and deep belonging. People who will accept me as I am, the messy real fear-fulled me who would really prefer to wave with a smile not drown in tears. 

I found my new tribe in the Way of Play by accident and maybe fate. For the last few years I have deliberately isolated myself. Aside from my lovely daughters and grandson. I moved to the middle of nowhere. Licked my wounds, gardened my way out of trauma and self-administered a great deal of art therapy and hot chocolate. I felt better. More myself. But then I felt lonely. 

So I went out into the world in an attempt to make new friends and find love. This was harder than I’d anticipated. I managed to garner a reputation in the dating-before-you-die world as eccentric, weird and rather dotty. My choir acquaintances were not on the same wavelength, even if we did sing in almost perfect harmony. My art group wanted art to look like something real. My fellow yogis were earnest and serious. 

I discovered I had most in common with my five-year-old grandson. We laughed and played. Had meaningful discussions about life and the nature of the universe. Had ridiculous conversations about nonsense. We sang silly songs without inhibition. We hugged. 

Eventually I found myself at the Soul Revolution Festival. At a Way of Play workshop. As myself.  I was not judged as eccentric, silly, dotty or old. I had the sort of fun I’d only previously experienced with my grandson. This time with adults! There was a connection, a warmth and an acceptance. 

The Way of Play is not just about having a laugh. Although laughing is an important part. It’s about connection, play, care and tribe. 

May you find your tribe. 

Reparenting Your Inner Child

 Reparenting Your Inner Child

In my previous post we discussed who your Inner Child might be. We also talked about sandwiches. This time I thought we might think about how to help make your inner child feel better. Heal the wounds or minor scratches. Discover the joy, creativity and playfulness. Some call this ‘Reparenting’ others call it ‘Healing the Inner Child’. 

I don’t know much about a lot of stuff, but parenting, I’ve done that. Even grandparenting. So I consider myself slightly qualified to reparent myself. Not that my parents didn’t do a good job in the context of what they knew, who they were, and the early 1960s. Almost all parents try and do the best they can under what is usually far from ideal circumstances. I know I did.

Still, I thought, this is my chance to do better. If it turns out well I could offer to reparent my children. Though more likely it will be the other way around. 

So how to do it? I’ve done some research but also many of the practices of the Way of Play are all about our Inner Child. It transpires that it’s a lot like grandparenting -

Nurturing - 

Tending to physical and emotional needs. Treating yourself as if you were your beloved grandchild. This should include treats, days out, lots of cuddling, praise, kissing better and plasters featuring dinosaurs. 

Allowing yourself to feel emotions without judgement. If an emotion arises that feels painful or uncomfortable that’s ok. Just say ‘There there’ and ‘This too will pass’ administer a hug and possibly a chocolate button. If an emotion arises that you like, enjoy it! Suitable celebrations include running madly around the room, jumping on the sofa or sliding down the bannisters (mind the finial). 

Praise without caveat - suitable phrases include ‘good work!’, ‘well done!’, ‘amazing!’ and ‘super-duper!’. Pats on the back, triumphant dances, shouts of joy and chocolate buttons are all cool. 

Boundaries

We all need boundaries to keep ourselves safe and sane. Setting ourselves boundaries stops us from falling into a giant vat of processed food, a lake of vodka or being trodden underfoot by a herd of wayward admirers. Our parents set boundaries which may or may not have been appropriate. My father was very keen on keeping elbows off tables during mealtimes. I was equally keen for my children not to run pel-mel onto busy roads.

 

In caring for our inner child and our adult selves we must reflect on what boundaries are important to us. For example, some of my boundaries include not drinking alcohol, not eating meat, being as very kind to the planet as possible, not jumping onto busy roads and not stepping on the cracks in the pavement. 

Some of our self-imposed boundaries may be harder to stick to than others. I struggle with saying ‘no’ when I’m asked to do stuff that I don’t have capacity for. Asking for help when I’m struggling.  I also have a hard time  with not buying random items advertised on facebook, and only eating one chocolate button at a time. 

We must also have boundaries in our relationships and environment to safeguard our well-being. Be brave enough to say ‘no!’ to situations you are uncomfortable with or put you at risk. There was once a woman (yes it was me) that in her youth just randomly joined in her circles’ drug and alcohol habits. She was only saved many years later by becoming pregnant and, although she couldn’t or didn’t say ‘no!’ for herself, she managed to say ‘NO!’ for her unborn child. Top tip - don’t wait until you are pregnant before saying ‘no’, especially if you are male. 

Think carefully about your boundaries, the things that keep you safe and sane. Things that keep others safe and sane. Forgive yourself kindly if you step over a boundary but step back behind it as soon as you can. Be kind but firm to those who step over your boundaries. If people consistently cannot respect your boundaries then maybe you shouldn’t follow their leadership, hang out with them, or marry them.

Emotional regulation

When I was a child (the person who shaped my Inner Child) we didn’t have emotions. Or rather we didn’t admit to having emotions. We had words for only three emotions - happy, sad and angry. Sad and angry were not socially acceptable. Happy was ok so long as you weren’t too loud about it. What was expected of us was to be good. To suppress all emotions that arose to the greater cause of being good. You could also be strong, a winner, or a leader if you were a boy. It seemed fairly ok to hit people and get into fights, especially if you won those fights. If you were a girl you could aspire to be pretty, helpful, humble, giving, and, for some reason pious. I think maybe the pious was some misdirected attempt to counteract the giving when puberty arrived. 

I have an inkling of an idea that the lack of emotional literacy in the 60s might have contributed to the state the world is in today.

Luckily things have changed. Emotion is all the rage. My grandson brings home worksheets with emoticons of how he’s been feeling today. We’ll gloss over the fact that all the nice round emoticons were re-purposed by him as wheels for trucks. At least he must have gleaned that people have emotions. As do trucks obviously.

Now we have tools to regulate our emotions. We even know that maybe emotions can be regulated. We also know that being able to regulate our emotions leads to a happier and healthier life. And perhaps world peace (I may be taking this too far).

There are many other good techniques to reparent your inner child. Which I may indulge in and even communicate to you another day. However, one I’d like to just lastly mention is Play and Joy. As you may have guessed ,The Way of Play is named after one of these important tenets. And just to cap it all, my blog (or one of them) is called the Tao of Play and Joy. 

Play and Joy are so important that many other posts will be about that. Watch this space. 

May you Play With Trees

 

Silly is the new Serious

 

 

The Playful Pathway 

Some of you may be wondering what goes on in these Way of Play online thingies. I know I did. I signed up for the Playful Pathway in lieu of a real life gathering in a spirit of curiosity and yes, I admit it, slight scepticism. Not scepticism about The Way of Play mission and ethos. Nor about Benjii who was leading us down this playful pathway, for I know him to be a wonderful human being having played with him in real life. I just had my doubts about whether it would be possible to capture the joy online. 

A dozen strangers appeared in small boxes on my screen. There was someone who looked like an older and scraggier version of myself. She turned out to be me. We began each gathering with a little warm up dance. I jiggled about and wondered about the wisdom of having just lit the log burner. Then some breathing and meditation. Here I was on familiar ground. Or in a familiar chair. Members of the group led short activities of their choice ranging from doodling, to eyebrow raising, to mindfulness practice. Still working on the eyebrow manipulation. 

Silly games ensued as well as a deeper understanding of our attitudes to play. Before the half-time break Benjii suggested a few things to reflect upon, ready to share afterwards. I don’t know what other people did during the break, aside from reflect. I had small cucumber sandwiches and slices of orange with my reflections because, although not experienced in half-time breaks, I believe I understood the cultural references. 

Our thoughts, shared in smaller groups, were honest and heartfelt.  Then sharing short reflections on our reflections as the larger group. Again, honest, heartfelt and brave. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. 

We finished each session with group singing which is always good online as everyone is completely out of sync with each other. Yet in ourselves we became in sync with each other. Contrary to my expectations we did get to know each other. The joy and playfulness was there. The whole course was a delight and I signed up for the next one.

Some of us gathered in real life at a Soul Revolution event just as the course finished. I was vastly reassured that my new friends really did have a physical form. 

 

Child-Like Wonder and Awe

When my daughter Sarah was a toddler she would often point from her pushchair and cry ‘Moo! Moo! Moo!’ delightedly. It took me a while to work out just what she was so joyful about. My first thought was that she was seeing cows. Or hallucinating cows as we were living in the unending rhythm of terraced housing. But no. She had seen the moon. No one else had seen the moon, clear in the daytime sky. I saw dust and danger and dog poo. She saw the moon and was amazed and awed.

Viewing the world from a child-like perspective changes our surroundings. Changes our attitudes and changes ourselves. Turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. As we mature what used to be amazing becomes mundane. Yet it is very possible to switch our lens and rediscover child-like wonder and awe. All we have to do is look, smell, feel or listen. Even better - do all of those.

Today, whilst I write, I’m drinking a cup of hot chocolate. Nothing extraordinary or awesome about that. But I can turn it into something special. By wondering why the little bubbles make that pattern. By tasting it slowly and experiencing how my tongue picks up the flavours in different places. By feeling the warmth in my hands. By being so happy that I have hot chocolate in my favorite mug.

So, simply look at, feel, smell, taste, listen to something from a child-like perspective. Feel the awe and the joy. It’s up to you if you want to say ‘Moo!’. I think I will.

Play - What is it Good For? Absolutely everything!

 Play - What is it Good For? Absolutely everything!

Most of us, when we think of play our mind wanders towards children. Those are the people who are really known for play. And generally the experts. It’s what  kids do, the thing we don’t need to teach our offspring. 

Play is essentially curiosity and creativity made manifest. It’s how children learn. It’s directed towards what they are interested and curious about. And that’s what makes it fun and joyful. 

There’s a lot more going on though. It’s learning. My five year old grandson loves physics. He doesn’t call it that, he calls it Marble Run, Hotwheels tracks, throwing things at the ceiling, dropping things down the stairwell, jumping in puddles, climbing trees and shouting. 

As adults we have often lost this way of learning, the joy and fun of learning. We went to school and had to learn stuff in a fairly soulless way. Curiosity, creativity and invention were not big on the curriculum. Did we lose our soul on the way? Sometimes. Did we lose our joy? Often. Was our natural curiosity suppressed? Almost always.

But play is back! Big time! Or at least that’s what our mission is. Way of Play is here to encourage you back to play. The freedom to enjoy physical play without having to score goals, compete in races or balance on four inch beams in front of scowling judges. The freedom to climb trees, shout, sing, dance, laugh and be as silly as a five-year-old. And all this without your parents telling you to be careful and not get your clothes dirty! 

Play report from Inner Revolution Winter Gathering edited by Lugh

 Holding hands in a circle. Doing the hokey cokey. On the grass. In the rain. Silly improv games and much laughter followed. The barn dwellers looked out through the huge floor to ceiling windows at what was very obviously fun. Fun for the sake of fun. Who knew there might be such a thing? For grown ups?

Everyone came outside and for the next hour we laughed, we played, our inner children ran free, we play fought, we connected and we were just plain joyful. Bellies aching with laughter, we trooped back into the barn, and though our clothes were slightly muddy and somewhat soggy, our hearts felt lighter, carefree.

In the barn I was just the old woman with the eccentric trousers, unruly hair and enthusiastic bladder. I sat quietly and behaved myself. On the field of play I was the woman who danced and sang and shouted and played with joy. Who wasn’t afraid or embarrassed. I know this is me. Generally it’s a well-kept secret between me and my grandson. The Way of Play allows us all to play like children, no grandchildren needed! 

When we played we shared ourselves, we learned something about each other. We smiled together, used our imaginations together, shed inhibitions and grew together. We sat in the barn as strangers, yet already knew each other as fast friends.

It was fun and all rather glorious, and I believe we all felt that play is good for the soul. That we must play again soon. Though some may have wondered what the meaning of all this play was compared to these deep and spiritual journeys? I would say that playfulness and curiosity are the essence of a joyful spirit and soul. Place a large grin on your face and just see how it lights you up inside. To feel energised and connected; physically connected through touch and contact; emotionally connected through laughter and joy — that is play medicine!

 

Play report from Inner Revolution Winter Gathering

 Play report from Inner Revolution Winter Gathering

It was after lunch. In the morning quiet things had happened. Spiritual things. Warm in the barn kind of things. The view from the barn’s big windows looked out onto a path, trees, an area of grass. In order to access the toilets we had to walk past these big floor to ceiling windows. Some of the more unsuspecting spiritual folk may have had a clue as to what was to come as I silly walked and spun my way to the toilet a number of times. Benjii’s bladder is a more robust constitution than mine so the full Way of Play silliness was not yet apparent.

It was after lunch and Benjii led the way to the area of grass. To the field of play. The Way of Play cognoscenti, those of us who had just finished the Playful Pathway, the experienced in the Way of Benjii, and the innately curious followed in eager anticipation. Others innocently looked through the windows of the nice warm barn and wondered wtf.

We began by holding hands in a circle. Doing the hokey cokey. On the grass. In the rain. Silly improv games and much laughter followed. The barn dwellers started to emerge to join what was very obviously fun. Fun for the sake of fun. Who knew there might be such a thing? For grown-ups? 

For the next hour we laughed, we played, we play fought, we connected and we were just plain joyful. As we trooped back into the barn, bellies aching with the laughing, slightly muddy and a tad wet, our hearts were lighter though our clothes may have been a bit heavier. 

I left the field of play feeling energised and connected. Physically connected through touch and contact. Emotionally connected by sharing laughter and joy. Some of these people I had never met before, and in the barn we sat separately, although joined through a shared space and experience. When we played we connected and learned something about each other. We smiled together, used our imaginations together, shed inhibitions. 

I wonder if through our playful session people might have learned something about me? In the barn I was just the old woman with the eccentric trousers, unruly hair and enthusiastic bladder. I sat quietly and behaved myself. On the field of play I was the woman who danced and sang and shouted and played with joy. Who wasn’t afraid or embarrassed. I know this is me. Generally it’s a well-kept secret between me and my grandson. The Way of Play allows us all to play like children, no grandchildren needed! Where else can we play like this?

I hope as we settled we all thought that it was fun and rather glorious. That playing is good for the soul. That we must play again soon. But some may have wondered what the meaning of all this play was compared to these deep and spiritual journeys? I would say that playfulness and curiosity are the essence of a joyful spirit and soul. 

Place a large grin on your face and just see how your soul feels.